Recently a friend of mine was sharing with me how stressed she was as she contemplate whether to quit her current job to start her own business with another friend. It's a big risk for her coz she's a divorcee with a kid to care, a 5-room flat, car loan & other loans to service.. She told me she wanted a better quality of life and this biz opportunity may be the one to give her the much needed break-thru..
What kept me thinking for the past few days were not the ultimate decision she made.. rather, it was the 'quality of life' concept that make me curious & eager to understand. So, what's quality of life? What does it really mean?
Well,.. 5 key pts spring to my mind after hrs of reflection..
1. Relativity - yr quality of life is different from mine. That's for sure. So, it's relative.
2. Moving target - our quality of life is not static. When we attain it, we'll automatically set a higher target
3. Future oriented - we tend to look or dream the future and neglect the present.
4. Discontentment - cont. from pt 3, most of us are not contented with our present lives.
5. It's all in one's mind - Perception is reality even though the truth states otherwise.
Possible plausible solutions:
1. Accept present situation - we need to face the music and be truthful to ourself.
2. Be contented - we have to learn to live a happy life today.. not wait for some other day!
3. Understand human nature for progress - understand this concept and u know we will always have a moving target.. so think abt pt 2 seriously.
4. Plan for the future - Dont just dream. Give concrete plan while enjoying the present moments.
5. Enjoy the present & process - while executing yr plan, enjoy the process & progress.. this way yr quality of life will always be relatively happy & progressing at the same time!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Javier & Angeline.. @Zoo
One of my favourite pictures using my Canon 300D camera.. taken on 30 Oct 2004.. @Singapore Zoo!
In the pic, Angeline and her handsome son! ;-)
The word 'Happy'..
Continuing from my life framework 'to live a happy, loving, healthy, balanced & fulfilling life' series.. i shall dwell on the word 'Happy' today..
In a nutshell, Happy focuses on oneself. We shouldnt rely on others to give us happiness. If u think yr happiness is derived from others, u're in for a nasty surprise.. and some ppl find it hard to swallow the truth when one day they realised it.. that's why we got ppl committing suicide, getting drunk or go mad..
To be happy is about taking responsibility, ownership, acknowledging and accepting things that happen to u - good or bad.
U need to be present to enjoy life! Dont dream too much.. dont let yr mind wonder away too often.. in order to experience happiness.. u must be present to see and to feel the moment.. Even seeing an ant crawling on the floor can also make u happy - coz observing nature somehow will calm yr mind.. dun believe? try it yrself.. ;-)
One technique i learned to staying happy is the use of positive words. If u are really angry and feel like saying something, use words like 'i am unhappy!' rather than 'i am angry!'. Know wat i mean? Somehow the mind calm itself down better with the word 'unhappy' than the latter.. Those who studied this phenomena found that somehow the mind favours the word 'happy' even though the 'Un-happy' word is spoken. Interesting rite? Try it yrself today! At first, it takes some effort. But after some time it will become second nature to u.. and without knowing, u'll be happier! ;-)
Happiness is not about short-term joy but a long-term investment. So dont go drinking and take drugs for the high - that's plain silly.
In a nutshell, Happy focuses on oneself. We shouldnt rely on others to give us happiness. If u think yr happiness is derived from others, u're in for a nasty surprise.. and some ppl find it hard to swallow the truth when one day they realised it.. that's why we got ppl committing suicide, getting drunk or go mad..
To be happy is about taking responsibility, ownership, acknowledging and accepting things that happen to u - good or bad.
U need to be present to enjoy life! Dont dream too much.. dont let yr mind wonder away too often.. in order to experience happiness.. u must be present to see and to feel the moment.. Even seeing an ant crawling on the floor can also make u happy - coz observing nature somehow will calm yr mind.. dun believe? try it yrself.. ;-)
One technique i learned to staying happy is the use of positive words. If u are really angry and feel like saying something, use words like 'i am unhappy!' rather than 'i am angry!'. Know wat i mean? Somehow the mind calm itself down better with the word 'unhappy' than the latter.. Those who studied this phenomena found that somehow the mind favours the word 'happy' even though the 'Un-happy' word is spoken. Interesting rite? Try it yrself today! At first, it takes some effort. But after some time it will become second nature to u.. and without knowing, u'll be happier! ;-)
Happiness is not about short-term joy but a long-term investment. So dont go drinking and take drugs for the high - that's plain silly.
Marrying a divorcee? something to note..
These days.. the divorce rate is going up.. and many discussions/debates have sprouted.. to set the record i'm a divorcee myself.. and a couple of my friends too.. Learning from my own experiences and from my friends, i've learned a no of things abt divorcing, being & marrying a divorcee, relationships and life in itself.
Today, i wished to share something abt life living with a divorcee.. i know John (not his real name) for many years. He got divorced abt 4 yrs ago after more than 8 yrs with her (first wife). Their reason for going separate ways were mainly due to maturity, realization & differences.. wat do i mean? well,.. they met when they were young - abt 24 for him & she's 19.. then both started to work and simply grew further apart.. before the differences - in hobbies, thoughts, likes & dislikes - makes them almost impossible to stay together.. however, afterall, they were once together for eight years! That's a long time.. Then John a year ago met Mary and they got married recently.. Though they have disagreement, they were able to share common interests, thoughts and John felt that she's the one for a long-term relationship. Then one day, while seeing a Doc & registering names, he accidentally wrote his first wife name.. and not Mary!! Mary was very sad and disappointed.. John was surprised at his own folly and started to reflect why that happened.. When i asked John did he still miss or love his first wife so much that he wrote her name, he answered that he no longer misses or loves her. He, however, said that perhaps being with her for over eight years, as a habitual thing, he unconsciously wrote her name.. He promised he will make sure never to make such a mistake again! It was a painful lessons for both of them.. coz he now has to work extra hard to assure Mary of his love..
So, what's the lesson learned here? Things like these will happen.. never say never.. so, if u're with a divorcee.. be prepared! i'm not saying to accept whatever happens. i'm just stating a fact. If u're the divorcee, be present! Dont let yr mind wonder off and yr unconscousness take over every often.. ;-)
It really takes much more understanding and maturity to deal with a relationship involving a divorcee. The same the other way round. But the effort may be well worth it - for love.. ;-)
Today, i wished to share something abt life living with a divorcee.. i know John (not his real name) for many years. He got divorced abt 4 yrs ago after more than 8 yrs with her (first wife). Their reason for going separate ways were mainly due to maturity, realization & differences.. wat do i mean? well,.. they met when they were young - abt 24 for him & she's 19.. then both started to work and simply grew further apart.. before the differences - in hobbies, thoughts, likes & dislikes - makes them almost impossible to stay together.. however, afterall, they were once together for eight years! That's a long time.. Then John a year ago met Mary and they got married recently.. Though they have disagreement, they were able to share common interests, thoughts and John felt that she's the one for a long-term relationship. Then one day, while seeing a Doc & registering names, he accidentally wrote his first wife name.. and not Mary!! Mary was very sad and disappointed.. John was surprised at his own folly and started to reflect why that happened.. When i asked John did he still miss or love his first wife so much that he wrote her name, he answered that he no longer misses or loves her. He, however, said that perhaps being with her for over eight years, as a habitual thing, he unconsciously wrote her name.. He promised he will make sure never to make such a mistake again! It was a painful lessons for both of them.. coz he now has to work extra hard to assure Mary of his love..
So, what's the lesson learned here? Things like these will happen.. never say never.. so, if u're with a divorcee.. be prepared! i'm not saying to accept whatever happens. i'm just stating a fact. If u're the divorcee, be present! Dont let yr mind wonder off and yr unconscousness take over every often.. ;-)
It really takes much more understanding and maturity to deal with a relationship involving a divorcee. The same the other way round. But the effort may be well worth it - for love.. ;-)
Friday, September 01, 2006
My dot com experiences - lessons learned
I joined dot com companies betw 1997 - 2002.. abt 5 yrs in all & 2 firms.. So, had really want to jot down wat i've learned in those years.. from mgmt or managing an org perspective..
Key pts or observations (extracted from an article i wrote back in 2002..):
Key pts or observations (extracted from an article i wrote back in 2002..):
- Weak business model - sales target pluck from the sky
- Overly sales focused - short-termist
- Inexperience mgmt - different managing 20 to 200! as the firm grew expontentially. A different mgmt method must be adopted/adapted
- Poor execution - badly coordinated or no coordination at all!
- Teamwork issues - founders/pioneers vs corporate managers. Becomes political & different mindset and working style
- Zero process/system in place - work is based on personality & relationships
- Lack of strong leadership - keep changing course till everyone is lost exactly where the ship is heading
However, i must qualify those were trying times.. really tough in such a fast pace environment to roll out products and services at lightning speed.. i must give dot com folks the credit for daring to take part in it! 3 cheers! ;-)
Fortunately, like many others, we lived to tell the tales! some were nice while most will probably never want to mention them ever again! ;-)
And as for me.. there were angry times when i wondered why certain things were not done which might have saved the many difficult situations.. Nonetheless, i've learned a lot abt running a fast-paced firm growing from 20 
staff to over 180.. though many were the negative examples.. Like Thomas Edison who after 999 tries he succeeded in inventing a light bulb, i too, learned as many ways how not to run a firm.. ;-)
Our wedding pictures
A small wedding dinner with our families members only at SiChuanDouHua Restaurant.. the food is really good!
Our wedding reception at the rooftop @British Club with close friends only.. performing my song with my wife beside.. ;-) Ambience is nice but food rather disappointing.. still, good memories.. ;-)
My famous dog - Woofy
This is my favourite and famous doggy - Woofy.. ;-)
Well,.. when i posted them on Friendster.com long time ago, some gals actually sent me messages saying how cute it is.. sad, they're not talking abt me.. ;P
Anyway, still wish to give my beloved Woofy a place in my blog in remembrance.. i took tis pic in my previous home - it was sitting on my old canon printer [in the background]..
A little secret.. i owned 2 small & 2 big Woofy.. ;P Dont u just like them? ;-)
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