"The principles of happiness can be
learned in a nutshell.
But not the journey of happiness.
It has to be experienced."
- Kenneth Woo
learned in a nutshell.
But not the journey of happiness.
It has to be experienced."
- Kenneth Woo
Showing posts with label principles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label principles. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
principles for relationships
Not too long ago i wrote about guiding principles for my work.. and i named it SWATS. Recently, i started thinking about developing some principles for my relationships. While my love life is still good, i think it can be better! Once in a while, we get into arguments and quarrels.. but i believe i could avoid those unnecessary unhappy moments if i had been conscious and mindful of my spoken words and actions.
So, after brainstorming within my brain.. here's the principles - LCU SWAP!
L.C.U.S.W.A.P. or LCU SWAP to help me remember stands for:
1. Listening. Most people has problem with active listening, genuine listening to what their partner says. must really learn to listen twice as much as speak. one method is the ability to repeat what the other person has just said. He/she will know u are really listening and they will appreciate greatly. In return, they will listen to u much more attentively.
2. Care & Concern. Must learn to show care & concern even though we do care for our love ones but we seldom show it or express in ways that make them feel it. i think a simple "i love you" or "i'm thinking about u and your well being" goes a long way. Words aside. U can also simply give your love ones hugs and kisses..
3. Understanding. First we seek to understand before we are understood. That said it all. Learn to put ourself into other people's shoes. Seek to understand their point of view. Only thru understanding is conflict resolve.
4. Sensitive. Be sensitive to your love ones' needs. Be observant. Be present. That way, u wont miss a beat.
5. Win-win. Always create a win-win situation for everyone including yourself. Nobody needs to loose. it's not a zero-sum game. Negotiate till everyone walks away happy.
6. Advisory. A consultative arrangement is better than an instructive one. whether u like or not, these days, with more & more ppl who are educated and more capable, no one is gonna sit there and wait for your instructions. So, in relationships as well, your spouse esp a wife wont be the quiet ever obedient one.. she will have a mind of her own. Therefore, it would be wise and correct to treat relationship on an advisory nature.. That said, it is situational too. Also depend on who's the ultimate decision maker. Exercise your own judgment.
7. Patience. A lot of times, we need to be patient with our love ones. Dont be rash. Impatience always create more problems.. Meditation is one of the best methods. Try the breathing method and keeping your mind focus on something of a higher purpose. It works!
So, after brainstorming within my brain.. here's the principles - LCU SWAP!
L.C.U.S.W.A.P. or LCU SWAP to help me remember stands for:
1. Listening. Most people has problem with active listening, genuine listening to what their partner says. must really learn to listen twice as much as speak. one method is the ability to repeat what the other person has just said. He/she will know u are really listening and they will appreciate greatly. In return, they will listen to u much more attentively.
2. Care & Concern. Must learn to show care & concern even though we do care for our love ones but we seldom show it or express in ways that make them feel it. i think a simple "i love you" or "i'm thinking about u and your well being" goes a long way. Words aside. U can also simply give your love ones hugs and kisses..
3. Understanding. First we seek to understand before we are understood. That said it all. Learn to put ourself into other people's shoes. Seek to understand their point of view. Only thru understanding is conflict resolve.
4. Sensitive. Be sensitive to your love ones' needs. Be observant. Be present. That way, u wont miss a beat.
5. Win-win. Always create a win-win situation for everyone including yourself. Nobody needs to loose. it's not a zero-sum game. Negotiate till everyone walks away happy.
6. Advisory. A consultative arrangement is better than an instructive one. whether u like or not, these days, with more & more ppl who are educated and more capable, no one is gonna sit there and wait for your instructions. So, in relationships as well, your spouse esp a wife wont be the quiet ever obedient one.. she will have a mind of her own. Therefore, it would be wise and correct to treat relationship on an advisory nature.. That said, it is situational too. Also depend on who's the ultimate decision maker. Exercise your own judgment.
7. Patience. A lot of times, we need to be patient with our love ones. Dont be rash. Impatience always create more problems.. Meditation is one of the best methods. Try the breathing method and keeping your mind focus on something of a higher purpose. It works!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
my guiding principle in work - SWATS
i've been thinking abt developing a set of principles for my new job.. coz so many things happening, it's easy to loose sight of things especially in decision making. How to make good and consistent decisions?
Well,.. finally i've developed a set of principles for my work! And i named it
as S.W.A.T.S.
Do sounds like the SWAT unit in US ya?!! ;-)
My S.W.A.T.S. stand for:
1. The principle of Service. We're in the business of providing good service. Our customers may be external or internal. We must be professional in our dealings and exhibit professionalism.
2. The principle of Win-win. We always have to think win-win for our customers as well as for our external consultants, and not forgetting ourself and our HQ folks..
3. The principle of Advisory. We play advisory role in the programme. We dont give solutions coz it's not our mandate. We guide. We dont lead.
4. The principle of Transparency. Whatever we do, it must be transparent, and able to withstand scrutiny.
5. The principle of Sustainable. Whatever processes we define or adopt, it must be sustainable and maintainable for the long haul. We avoid short term gain for long term loses..
Well,.. finally i've developed a set of principles for my work! And i named it
as S.W.A.T.S.Do sounds like the SWAT unit in US ya?!! ;-)
My S.W.A.T.S. stand for:
1. The principle of Service. We're in the business of providing good service. Our customers may be external or internal. We must be professional in our dealings and exhibit professionalism.
2. The principle of Win-win. We always have to think win-win for our customers as well as for our external consultants, and not forgetting ourself and our HQ folks..
3. The principle of Advisory. We play advisory role in the programme. We dont give solutions coz it's not our mandate. We guide. We dont lead.
4. The principle of Transparency. Whatever we do, it must be transparent, and able to withstand scrutiny.
5. The principle of Sustainable. Whatever processes we define or adopt, it must be sustainable and maintainable for the long haul. We avoid short term gain for long term loses..
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
the power of principles!
In our daily lives, we wonder why at times we cant make swift and good decisions. Worst, we somehow are not consistent in the reasoning leading to the decisions.Most of the time, we need to make quick decisions. Other times, especially big decisions, we need more time to digest the information and think thru..
We can definitely improve our decisions making.. for both big and small decisions!
The solution is quite simple - we just need a good set of principles!
Developing a set of principles takes time. To jump start, you may first adopt someone else's principles.. usually from some books of wisdom or from a wise man.. ;-)
Over time, you will develop your very own set of principles.. take your time, but dont take too long.. ;P
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
3 principles to live by - Robin Sharma
today's The Straits Times 'Mind Your Body' section featured a lawyer turned writer Robin Sharma. He is 41 yrs old & lives in Canada as a single-parent of two kids - Colby, 12 & Bianca, 10. His first book is an inspirational bestseller The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, about a lawyer after having a heart attack, not only dispenses his Ferrari but also changed the way he lives his life. His other books include Monk & Greatness Guide. note: I've not read his books yet though am interested to do so.. Based from the article, it seems his principles are similar to my own beliefs and close Buddhist philosophies as well.. But really need to read his books to be more sure.. 3 principles to live by
1. Order your thoughts by night and organise your activities by day.
2. Make time for physical exercise. What's the point of being the richest person in the graveyard? We often take health for granted. Exercise gives energy, makes you live longer, look better and boost creativity. It then cascades into every area of life.
3. NSI, Never Stop Improving. each day take small calculated risk to see yourself grow. move out of your comfort zone. dont be afraid of failures. thru failures u will succeed.
I would add one more principle here (from my own set of principles) to make it more complete, at least for myself.. it's Make time for your love ones.. tat include spouse, family members and friends. we are so busy with our own activities that we failed to realise time flies and let our love ones slowly drifted away.. so make it a point to find time to be with them.
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