struggles of the lay Buddhists

it's really a struggle to be a lay Buddhist.. must admit after being a practicing Buddhist for the past few years. i know it shouldnt be a struggle if i have reached a certain level of 'enlightenment' but still.. ;-(

the world we live in is just different from the world i would love to live in.. this material world's influence is just too strong, and greatly shaped people's behaviour to think self-centric and act self-interest.. everybody's thinking how to climb the corporate ladder, how to be better than the guy next door,.. sometimes if i'm not careful, i also got suck into such thinking. i only manage to pull myself out when i start to think about Buddhist teachings and think abt the truth of life.. i have to remind myself to be mindful - be aware and beware of the things surrounding us..

lately, the pressure is much higher for me as i'm in a new environment with new people around me.. it's difficult to tell who's the good people and who's the 'questionable' ones.. just have to stay alert.. as politics aplenty, with people's personal agenda,..

Mmm.. why do i feel down lately? perhaps exhausted with all the work.. with all the pressure to do a good job.. perhaps i should be doing meditation now and more often.. perhaps that's what i should do.. Yup, i cant wait to go East Coast this Sunday to video my second MTV on Lynnette's dream song! ;-)